In my last weight loss post, I talked about some of my challenges. I think this time it’s a good thing to talk about some of the successes. If you have never struggled with weight, some of these may seem a bit silly, but for me they are huge.

1. Most days I can walk without wheezing. Okay, there are still those days when I still have difficulty, but it is due to my respiratory issues and not due to the weight. Even if I were a twig, I’d still have those days, so I am thrilled with not wheezing for the majority. Before, I wheezed with minimal exertion.
2. I can cross my legs, and that means without struggling to do it to. It was one of those things that I didn’t think about, but one day during a business meeting I crossed my legs and then realized what I had done and the shock of it made me want to get up and run around the room fist pumping the air. I didn’t.
3. I can put on my shoes and tie them without sweating or having to take a break. And I no longer have to haul my leg up by a pant leg to do it.
4. I know I’ve mentioned this one before, but it is still very much a success. NO MORE blood pressure medication as it is no longer required.
5. I can climb multiple flights of stairs with no problem. My knees still bother me on occasion, but as with the wheezing the cause is other than weight.
6. I have to use belts to keep my pants up, and this is for the smallest size I own. Belts will suffice for now as I will buy clothing very sparingly until I reach my goal.



7. I am comfortable in normal sized chairs.
8. I no longer have to leave as much room on the driver side of the car when parking, because I don’t have to swing the door as wide for me to get out of the car.
9. My complexion has improved dramatically.
10. And for the last one that I’ll list, and one that is currently giving me a spring in my step, is that the pink outfit in the picture is something I bought several years ago (5-6) because I loved the color. I knew it was too small at the time because the top was a large and at the time I was fitting in 3X or sometimes a large 2X. This outfit symbolizes my determination to lose the weight, because I wanted it so much and I wanted to wear it. (Okay – I have very simple tastes in clothing and comfort is a prime concern and vibrancy of color is a close second.) So, when I picked it up off the rack, I vowed someday I would wear it. Today is that day. I’m not straining to get into it. I’m not stretching the fabric. I waited and now IT FITS!!!

Really, this list could go on and on because the simple things in freedom of movement alone could take a page and a half, but you get the idea. I am really pleased with my decision and the results.

While I am thrilled with how far I’ve come, I have had a little bit of a setback within the past two months. In January I had a flare up of gastritis, which I am prone to and was one of the reasons, I selected the lap band procedure over the gastric bypass. When the gastritis was diagnosed, my doctor sent me to have my band deflated, which is a scary thing for a lap band patient. But deflating the band allowed the gastritis to heal. I went this past week to have the band re-filled and the surgeon was very pleased that I hadn’t gained, as that is the norm when the band is deflated. I was hoping for continued loss, but will be content with lack of gain. We did run into a glitch when attempting to refill the band. The needle wouldn’t go into the port, so I am still flying without the help of my tool at the moment. The doctor sent me for X-rays as she suspects the port has flipped and is backwards. Apparently this is a very rare possibility, but one she think is highly likely because she was unable to get the heavy duty industrial strength needle in but has no problem in locating the port itself. If that is the case, it will require a minor surgery to correct. And I was hoping 2010 could be a surgery-free year. Oh well, I will continue on.

I have added the extra picture to his post to give a better Before picture. I found this when cleaning out my desk during a recent office move and thought it provided an excellent visual of how far I have come. Oh, and the guy I’m with is hubs.

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It seems significant somehow that my six month anniversary for weight loss surgery fell on the epic eating holiday of the year. Thanksgiving. Talk about food running rampant in front of you, how’s that for irony? The good news is I didn’t have any problem with it. Did I eat more than I should have? Sure, a bite or two. But while others stuffed themselves to the point of being extremely uncomfortable, and having to loosen pants, I had a bite of everything I wanted to and didn’t feel deprived. More importantly, I spent time with family having good conversation.

So, how have the last six month gone? Overall, I’d have to say they have been very good. I’m losing weight, I’m feeling great, and I’m more active and have more energy. Does that mean that it has all been smooth sailing? No. But the moments of rough have been short in duration, and the positives have more than compensated for any minor discomfort. And, I think it is important to emphasize, the rough moments have all been due to non-surgery related issues. Or to put it more plainly, with the exception of one incident – my fault. If viewed from the proper perspective, what I’m really saying is the surgery is doing its job.

Let me illustrate some of the (very few) unpleasant experiences I’ve had.

1. Allergic reaction to one of the ready-to-drink protein products. This is not something I could have forecast. I did read the ingredients very carefully before trying and did not see any red flags. I have been extremely cautious since, and figure since I know what works for me, and I’m happy with it, adventuresome is not the avenue I want to pursue.

2. Eating mistake # 1: Swallowing without chewing well enough. On a normal basis, I chew my food extremely well, so didn’t have a huge learning curve when it came to post-surgery life of ensuring that I do chew my food well. It has to be of a consistency like mashed potatoes before swallowing. Every once in a while (I think three times in the six month period), I get tripped up and swallow too soon. Talk about painful. As I wait for the feeling to pass with tears in my eyes, trying to keep myself from vomiting, I keep reminding myself not to be such an idiot. This is a controllable factor. What happened? In each case, I stopped paying attention to what I was doing because I was distracted by a question, a phone ringing or something else equally mundane and swallowed before I realized what I was doing. Resolution? Don’t be such an idiot. The question, phone, or whatever else, can wait. It is not worth the pain of swallowing that bite too soon, or potentially ruining the surgery if I do it too many times.

3. Eating mistake # 2: Eating too fast. I have a marvelous little device call the Gymboss which lets me set a timer at whatever interval I choose and will keep going off to remind me to take the next bite or next sip. Foolproof method for not eating too quickly, right? Wrong. When you have a bullheaded person (me) who has developed these quirky rules of eating to help sabotage herself, even having the buzzer going off, doesn’t help me stay on track sometimes. MOST of the time, I am very good and stick to the regimen of one bite every ten minutes or one sip every five. But apparently there are foods which my brains deems as being outside of these parameters. Could I have the normal ones, like desserts, or something else equally yummy? No. My trigger foods for eating too fast are soups and crackers. So, right now, I stay away from those things. I’ll give them a try again in another couple of months. I’m sad because I really enjoy soup, but since I can’t seem to regulate how fast I eat it, I have to stay away. I’m very uncomfortable after eating soup because I ingested too quickly.

4. Eating mistake # 3: Not eating or drinking enough. On two occasions during the past six months, I have inadvertently not eaten enough or had enough liquids. Both times were due to extreme circumstances and I found out that I am much more delicate than I would like to believe. I became extremely light headed (to the point of nearly passing out) and then got a migraine. This is also something within my control. I have to remember to be a little more assertive about my need for regular meal times, especially with others who can stretch the limits a little more easily.

From top weight to current

As I said, most of the time I have been getting healthier and feeling better. Sometimes it is important to reflect on what you have done wrong so you do not continually make the same mistakes. All of the points above, with the exception of the first, underscore the fact that the surgery is doing its job. It is reminding me in an unpleasant manner when I make a mistake and quickly brings me back into line (something which is difficult to do in any circumstance). During my six month check up with the surgeon’s office, they were once again very pleased with my progress. I am ahead of schedule with the weight loss. The PA (Physician’s Assistant) even told me I am one of their few low maintenance patients. I told him there had to be one thing in life I was low maintenance in. While the being ahead of schedule delights me, I have to keep reminding myself this is not a race. I am in it for the long haul and need to keep taking one step at a time toward my goal. Could I push myself to lose weight faster? Of course I could, however, the surgeon’s group I’m with is actually concerned if you’re losing too fast. Would that lifestyle be sustainable? Absolutely not. And that is the ultimate goal – to achieve a healthy, sustainable lifestyle, with a new and improved me.

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The morning dawned cool and foggy, and visibility was low as I drove in to Long Beach. The meeting place was easy to find, and there were several tables set up with give-away items, such as water bottles, journals, and snacks. And of course, all participants received a t-shirt to wear during the walk. The walk itself was along Shoreline drive over by the Long Beach Acquarium. We had a beautiful morning for it as the marine layer burned off and managed to finish before it started getting too hot.

I haven’t had a chance to get my monthly picture taken for the before and after shots, but will have Denny take them tomorrow night and get them posted. I also have my next check up coming on Thursday, so I’m looking forward to that. Rundown on my progress to date:

1. I have lost 28 pounds since weight loss surgery
2. I have lost 62 pounds since orientation
3. I have lost 100 pounds since starting my weight loss journey

I am rather proud of being able to put up that nice round number of 100 pounds lost. It has taken some time and there have been set backs along the way, but I am continuing to perservere and move forward and feel better.

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Was I upset with not getting a fill? No. I had been a little concerned about getting the fill because I still had a good feeling of restriction and was stuffed in 5-6 bites, so had ambivalent feelings about tightening things up even more. I do know some people who would have gone ballistic if they didn’t get a fill, but each person’s journey is their own, and I really want the band to be there as a reminder not to eat too fast, too much, etc. rather than being a device to stop me from eating. I am a bit of a control freak and want to stay in control. In actuality, my weight loss rate has slowed down a little since right after my first fill, but I figure my body needs a chance to catch up with the weight loss so far.

On the 25th, I had to have a colonoscopy (my doctor nearly flipped when he found out I hadn’t had one prior to my surgery) due to colon cancer running in my family. Pre-surgery this would have not been a big deal – not pleasant, but no extra considerations required. Post surgery, there were things to be considered. Fortunately my gastroenterologist is the same one my surgeon group recommends, so he is familiar with the different weight loss surgeries and the special needs that come with them. Such as, it is impossible for a weight loss surgery patient to drink the 4 liters of liquid necessary in the time frame required. Even taking the pills the requirement is to take 4 pills at a time along with 8 ounces of water (or other clear liquid). You have to do this every 15 minutes five times in succession the night before and 3 times in succession the next morning. The doctor said I could stretch consumption of the liquid to 20 minutes instead of the 15 set as the standard. So I had to figure out how best to accomplish this. I knew downing eight ounces at one time was not going to be a happy situation, so I decided the best method was to space it out as evenly as I could. As a consequence, I took one ounce along with a pill, waited two and half minutes and then had another ounce of water – repeat ad nauseum until all 20 pills had been taken. Let me tell you, even though taking a one ounce drink every two and a half minutes may seem like drinking slowly to you, for me, who is used to drinking that same one ounce every five minutes, it felt quite fast. I was completely stuffed to overflowing by the time I got to the end of the regime. So for me, having to drink so quickly was the worst part of the whole procedure. Oh, and I’m clear and don’t have to do this exercise for another three years.

So has everything been smooth sailing? Pretty much. I’ve had a couple of issues with my knee not wanting to keep treading those thousand steps but that is a fairly normal occurrence because of the different stress points in the body with the changing weight. I usually give my knees a couple of days to settle down, and then back to the parking garage and up and down the steps with me. I need to start working in some additional exercise to help tone muscles (to help combat the flabbiness of the skin), but want to do that slowly. If I try to do too much at once, I’ll do it for awhile and then quit. The trick is to build things into my lifestyle that get me moving more and more without calling it exercise, because I will fail at exercise for the sake of exercise. Is there anything that I feel I need to work on? Yes. I need to work on taking smaller bites. Prior to surgery I didn’t take huge bites, and I have found myself taking bigger bites after surgery. Why? I like hot food. I end up taking bigger bites to consume more of the food while it’s hot, and then much smaller bites once it has cooled. I need to find a way to keep my food warm while I consume it, and then I think the problem will resolve itself.

Rundown on my progress to date:

1. I have lost 25 pounds since weight loss surgery
2. I have lost 59 pounds since orientation
3. I have lost 97 pounds since starting my weight loss journey

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Let’s get the statistics out of the way. Since my surgery two months ago, I have lost 19 pounds, which puts me averaging 2.33 pounds per week. This is about where I want to be with the overall weightloss. A nice steady pace, but not too fast. The weightloss has slightly increased since the fill, so it is doing it’s job. Overall that means that I have lost 53 pounds since starting this particular phase of my journey in January, and I am now down 91 pounds from my top weight. I am approaching a couple of big milestones – 100 pounds of weight lost (and trust me, I am hoping that it stays lost forever), and I am quickly approaching the 200 pound barrier.  

I don’t want anyone to think that what the scale says is the only important factor here. It is only a piece of the overall wellness pie. On Friday, as I was doing my walk up and down the stairs in our parking garage at work, it suddenly occurred to me just how good it felt to move my body. I felt almost bursting with health. My color has returned to my face (there were several people who were concerned with how pale I had become after surgery) and my energy level has definitely been increasing. I’m following the protocol set by the doctors office which is to eat slowly, do not eat and drink at the same time, and taking my supplements. And life is good.

I thought it would be a good reminder to show a picture (above left) of me at my top weight and where I am at now to help me keep my focus in sight. I have come a long way, after working hard to get here. I have a long way to go still, but I am confident I will get there. My goal is a healthier, better me and I’m not stopping until I achieve it.

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But, as I said, exercise is essential on the journey to becoming a much healthier me. Just prior to my surgery, I started a walking program of my own making. Just outside of the building I work in, there is a five story parking garage. Several of my co-workers on lunch or break will go over to the parking garage and walk, going up the ramps. I liked the idea, but had two issues with it for me. One, while walking is good, I was looking for a way to get my heart pumping a little faster (and I don’t/won’t run). And two, it takes too long. Time is something I spar with in almost every aspect of my life. I have so much I want to do, and trying to cram it all in during the allotted time frames is always difficult.

A gym membership for me would be a waste of money. I used to have them when I actually was fit, and it was still a waste of money because I didn’t want to take that much of a chunk of time out of my life to go and simply exercise. See, time has always been a factor for me. Not enough hours in the day, unless I wanted to give up sleep, and I do little enough of that as it is. There is another factor to consider, which is that I detest exercise for the sake of exercise and the longer it takes, the angrier I get. I love to do things which exercise my body. I used to swim competitively, played softball, and loved to go for bike rides, etc. Just don’t put me on an exercycle to sweat in my own home, or even worse a treadmill going nowhere fast. It makes me want to scream.

Obviously, I had to find something which would allow me to get my heart pumping in a short amount of time and could be done without feeling I’m taking away from other things I want to be doing. So, looking out at the parking garage, I realized that in addition to having those nice sloping ramps, there were stairwells. Hmmmm. Stairs would definitely add the heart pumping action, and would cut down on the time necessary. And so my regime has begun. I go out to the parking garage and climb the stairs. At first, I was simply going up and down, trying to do as many flights as I could get me started. Then I realized it would be beneficial to walk from one stairwell to the other between flights. At first, two flights of stairs up and down was all I could manage at a time. I would leave my desk, go to the parking garage, do my climb and return to my desk, and no one even knew I had gone.

Now I am able to climb all five flights, with the walk between stairwells, and it takes me less than ten minutes away from my desk. I am doing this a minimum of three times daily. So, after having my circuit down, I decided to see how many steps it was taking me, to give me a ballpark idea of how much I was walking. The number of steps between each stairwell is 100, and total number of stairs (up and down) is 148, so in my ten minute jaunts I am walking approximately 1,100 steps. I am starting to add a couple of extra up and downs during my lunch time constitutional, so the overall daily number will be increasing, and I’m finding I’m climbing the stairs a little faster all the time, so may start adding an extra flight or two during my other rounds as well.

The benefits are huge because I’m actually getting exercise, I get my heart rate up, I get away from my desk (which I never used to do), and that allows me greater concentration when I return, and I don’t feel like I’m wasting my time. I will be introducing other activities as I lose weight, but for now, I’m taking things a thousand steps at a time.

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For some, the six week waiting period between surgery and fill is torture. You know you’ve undergone surgery, but you are not feeling like anything has changed (except for the lump under your left rib cage), and you are not experiencing the results you expected. This can be depressing if you let yourself dwell on those aspects during the first six weeks. You might wind up thinking “What on earth did I have the surgery for, anyway?” Hang in there, because the adjustments will come. I used those six weeks to help me work on fine tuning some of the behaviors I had been practicing pre-surgery, and working on getting the vitamin regimine down, increasing my exercize, etc. To be honest, for me, the six weeks sped by, and it was time this past Wednesday to have my first fill.

Here’s what happened: I arrived at the doctor’s office and after a short wait, went back to a room. The PA (physician’s assistant), Mike, explained the process to Denny and I, after bringing up my chart and briefly reviewing it. During the first fill, they will inject saline solution into the band in the amount of anywhere between 1cc and 4cc’s. Now, with the reaction I had after surgery, where it was difficult to even consume 8 ounces the first day following the surgery, I had a feeling 4cc’s would be too much for my system to handle. So I asked him if we could shoot for a little less. Mike explained that they start with 4cc’s and then you drink water to guage whether the restriction is enough or too tight. 4cc’s is the maximum they can give you during the first fill, so if it is not enough, then you will need to wait another six to eight weeks for the second fill. I felt comfortable with the methodology, and so we began.

First Mike pushed on the port area to get a good idea of where the port was and how he was going to approach inserting the needle. Usually the ports are under the left rib cage, in a lower location than mine is placed, but I’m sure my interior had a few issues due to the two abdominal surgeries I went through in 2008, so mine is right under the rib cage, which adds a slight degree of complexity to it. Mike was very good though, and he determined his course of action and then had me lay down on the table so he could inject the anaesthetic to numb the area. All I felt was a slight burning sensation as the anaesthetic went in. Next, he inserts the needle into the port, finds the rubber fill hole, injects 4cc’s of saline solution and then I sat up, with the needle still sticking out of my side. It looks a little bizarre, but doesn’t hurt at all. I then took a few sips of water, which felt like it stopped going down at the base of my throat. Okay, 4cc’s was definitely too much, so Mike removed approximately 1cc and we tried it again. Water was now going down, but slowly, and it felt like it was coming back up again. A very weird sensation indeed, so .5 more cc’s were removed. Another sip of water, and voila, we had the right adjustment. The thing to remember is if water is having a difficult time going down, food simply won’t.

Now, I have 2.5 cc’s in the band, and I am definitely full with half a cup of food, and so I continue along my journey of lightening.

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On Day 1 home, I found out quickly that I really needed to pump up the amount of protein in my morning protein drink. Because I had swelling from the surgery, my ability to drink was severely reduced and it took me all day just to drink one 8 oz bottle of Glucose Control Boost. That’s only 16 grams of protein for the entire day. I quickly adjusted and decided to pour the boost into a blender and add a scoop or two of protein powder to it. One of the things that I kept hearing over and over again at the support groups was hydration and protein. Those had to be the first focus. Well, I kind of threw hydration under the bus those first days after the surgery because I figured I was on liquids only anyway, so anything I was able to get in would help the hydration, so my primary focus had to be on boosting up the protein intake. About day 4, I finally started to be able to take in more than 4 sips at a time, and things became much easier in the food department.

Some people do not feel full right after surgery, but I certainly did. I have now normalized, so I am waiting for my first fill, which will happen on July 8th. I have spent the past month working on meal and hydration timing, and I have worked my way back up to solids. I stretched the initial phase of full liquids because by the time I was finally able to drink more, the week had almost passed and I just didn’t feel up to moving forward. I trust my body when it sends me those messages, so I held back moving on to purees for a few more days. The pictures are to help show my progress, although it is slight at the moment, the one on the left was taken a couple days after surgery and on the right was taken today for the one month picture. I have lost 11 lbs since surgery.

I was actually excited to be coming up to the month anniversary of the surgery. My energy was coming back and had the happy news that I could discontinue my blood pressure medication, I have been increasing the walking I’m doing and including stairs in my daily routine, so all in all things were going along well. Then, a friend gave me a different protein drink to try. She first asked whether I could have whey protein, which is what I do drink because I’m allergic to soy. Yesterday morning, I made up my breakfast drink, consisting of the chocolate protein drink, a scoop of Cappuccino Latte protein powder, and some Quephor by Organic Pastures. The only thing that changed from what I regularly have is the brand of chocolate protein drink. I was able to drink about half of it before getting ready for work. When I sat down to put on my shoes, I was experiencing an increase in port pain. Now, I generally have a high pain tolerance, so it bothered me a little to find the pain increasing rather than decreasing. But, I figured, I’d watch the situation and determine whether it was really an issue or a momentary thing. On the way to work, the pain began to increase and I was very uncomfortable just sitting in the car.

Then enlightenment dawned. I was having an allergic reaction. This was not a surgery complication, or something going wrong with the port, but simply a reaction to having ingested something I shouldn’t have which was causing me to bloat up like a balloon. As soon as I got to work, I grabbed the Tums and chomped a couple down. I then made a cup of decaf tea and sipped that to try and help ease the pain. Still uncomfortable, but trying to wait until the doctor’s office opened to find out what else I could do, I decided to try and walk some of the gas out, and went for a morning constitutional. My concern with the bloating was for the pouch because you don’t want to stretch it out and the amount of gas I had in my system was enough to cause lift off. The recommendation from the doctor’s office was to get an over the counter gas relief medication and wait it out. Fortunately, I work right across the street from a Walmart so was able to nip over and get something right away.

By noon, the gas was starting to abate a bit, and I wasn’t in as much discomfort, but then the allergy triggered migraine started to kick in. I struggled on until about 3 pm, when the migraine was threatening to fracture my vision. I went home, took a migraine pill, an allergy pill, chewed some more gas relief tablets, and went to bed. So, all in all, my monthiversary wasn’t the best day, but it had nothing to do with surgery complications, just complications of being me.

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Waking up from this surgery was a much more pleasant experience than the last surgery in a hospital. Last year’s abdominal surgery turned out to be for a much different reason than everyone thought, and I was sore coming out of that one. This surgery had no surprises. It took a little longer than what the norm is, but that was anticipated as Dr. Frances advised prior to the surgery that she may have to scrape out some scar tissue from last year’s surgery while she was in there. But there were no hernia repairs necessary, no appendectomy’s (which happened the last time – surprise), and no gall bladder removal. Just 4 tiny incisions and one incision about 3 inches long where they put in the port. A relative breeze. At the hospital I had the procedure done in, they do require an overnight stay, which I was fine with. I’d rather stay and have someone make sure I was doing fine, than go home and find out I’m not. Some places do the surgery on an outpatient basis, but I was glad to stay overnight.

Per usual hospital procedure, practically as soon as you are back in your room, they want you up and walking around, which this time around was not an issue. One surprise to me was that they skipped the whole ice chip as a meal thing, and we straight to letting me have actual water. Of course, they had little two ounce cups that you were to sip from (making it last two to three sips for each one). That was how they measured your intake – you drank from the little cup and put it into a bigger cup when you were done, and they knew how much you had to drink by how many cups you went through.

The patient in the other bed in the room had the gastric bypass a little later in the day. In talking with one of the nurses, who took care of me last year as well, they keep all of the bariatric patients together, which is kind of nice. We have something in common and can help support each other, even just post surgery. The upshot is that everything went smoothly, and I was able to go home on schedule and to continue on my journey.

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____________________________________________________________________________
LK Gardner-Griffie
To buy Misfit McCabe, visit my store at Lulu.com or purchase at Amazon.com
To track Misfit McCabe across the country, visit: Where in the World is Misfit McCabe?
Own a Kindle? Download Misfit McCabe in an instant.
For other e-book formats, visit Smashwords.com
To read book reviews by LK Gardner-Griffie, visit: The LL Book Review

Now it was time to get a few other things scheduled as well, such as the pre-op blood work, which has to be completed no sooner than one month prior to the surgery date, a cardio assessment, and a one on one sit down with the surgeon, in addition to obtaining clearance from your general physician. So, taking things one step at time, we got the things scheduled and my mental preparation kicked into high gear. Yes, I had been preparing since the beginning of the year, but somehow, actually having a date on the calendar makes a difference.

For some reason, in addition to the EKG, the doctors group ordered a cardio assessment as well for me, although I didn’t quite fit the profile. I guess it didn’t really matter though because after the exam by the cardiologist, she cancelled the stress test saying she didn’t see any reason to conduct those test. Whew!! Not that it would have been a problem, but it’s nice to know that the cardiologist didn’t think I was in danger of dropping dead from a heart condition on the table.

Everything went swimmingly well until I got the results of the blood work. My cholesterol was an issue. This definitely had to have cropped up within the past year, because in 2008, I had two surgeries and there was no issue with the cholesterol at that time. The triglycerides were particularly alarming. Fortunately, there was enough time to get on some medication to bring everything down to the normal range and to get a retest so that the surgery could move forward as scheduled. I was however, resigned to the fact that if the results were not acceptable after having been on the medication for two weeks only, I would have to reschedule. I accepted that as a possibility and decided it was not a big deal, so was prepared for the worst, but it didn’t happen. The next step? The surgery.

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____________________________________________________________________________
LK Gardner-Griffie
To buy Misfit McCabe, visit my store at Lulu.com or purchase at Amazon.com
To track Misfit McCabe across the country, visit: Where in the World is Misfit McCabe?
Own a Kindle? Download Misfit McCabe in an instant.
For other e-book formats, visit Smashwords.com
To read book reviews by LK Gardner-Griffie, visit: The LL Book Review